Winter Comes and Goes...

When winter falls next year,
I’ll be holding on to anything nailed down.
As for being patient,
With fate and all it's getting old.
And my mind is slowly changing.

I’m calling all my oldest friends,
Saying sorry for this mess we’re in.
And I’m waiting, waiting,
For the sun to come and melt this snow,
Wash away the pain and give me back control, control.

An angel got his wings and we'll hold our heads up,
Knowing that he’s fine.
We’d all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.

Should we still set his plate?
Should we still save his chair?
Should we still buy him gifts?
And if we don’t did we not care?

It makes you think about the life you've led,
The shit you’ve done, the things you've said,
And its grounding, grounding.
I’ve been feeling 3 feet tall this month, hardly indestructible,
But the snow melts and the rhythm still goes on.

An angel got his wings and we'll hold our heads up,
Knowing that he’s fine.
We’d all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.

Friends stay side by side.
In life and death you’ve always stole my heart.
You’ll always mean so much to me it’s hard to believe this.

These nights in vans,
These nights in bars,
Don’t mean a thing with empty hearts.
With empty hearts.

An angel got his wings and we'll hold our heads up,
Knowing that he’s fine.
We'd all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.

Friends stay side by side.
In life and death you always stole my heart.
You’ve always meant so much to me it’s hard to believe.
So much to me it’s hard to believe.
So much to me it’s hard to believe this.


Christmas is here, and Danny is not. Forgive me, for I have a new boyfriend and he's made it crystal clear that he doesn't like me talking about him. I "talk about him too much," "Danny this, Danny that." Talking is how I deal, and after 10 almost 11 months I haven't dealt. The thought of someone dying makes me cringe. The Caylee Anthony story makes me sick. How could someone who has everything terminate the life of a defensless baby? I have woken up three nights in a row crying for that baby girl. I brought Poinsettias to Danny's parent's house. I love them as if they were my own family... and just knowing that it's their first Christmas without their 16 year old boy (now 17), it breaks my heart. I miss the shit out of him, from I hate you's to I love you's, he was my everything.

RIP Danny, Christmas '08.